watermelinoe:

jackthevulture:

wtfenris:

toboldlylesbian:

waitress assigned kin

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)

tonyhawks-armenianwasteland:

biprincepeach:

brokenblackcatskulls:

silverhawk:

thinking about life & its twists and turns today……a lot for an armadillo to deal with but i’ll be okay………….

In case anyone was worried about this little guy

Thank you, I was :D

armadillo, born and raised in the desert for years without seeing a large body of water: *sees a pool* ohhhhh fuck yeag im goin in that big puddle baby

pharmercyzine:

😭

I love you Jen Cohn!

toodrunktofindaurl:

icarusninja23:

charlesoberonn:

“Are you a Mr. or a Ms.?”

“Dr.”

“But are you a man or a woman?”

“I’m a scientist.”

“No, what’s in your pants?”

“Physics.”